Interesting Information of a new Diagnosis (not yet an exceptionality accepted by the Ministry of Ontario)

Social (Pragmatic) Communication Disorder

The new diagnosis of social (pragmatic) communication disorder (SCD) in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) will more accurately recognize individuals who have significant problems using verbal and nonverbal communication for social purposes, leading to impairments in their ability to effectively communicate, participate socially, maintain social relationships, or otherwise perform academically or occupationally. Previous editions of DSM did not provide an appropriate diagnosis for people with such symptoms, which led to inconsistent treatment across clinics and treatment centers. For these individuals, SCD brings their social and communication deficits out of the shadows of a “not otherwise specified” label to help them get the services and treatment they need.

Characteristics of the Disorder

SCD is characterized by a persistent difficulty with verbal and nonverbal communication that cannot be explained by low cognitive ability. Symptoms include difficulty in the acquisition and use of spoken and written language as well as problems with inappropriate responses in conversation. The disorder limits effective communication, social relationships, academic achievement, or occupational performance. Symptoms must be present in early childhood even if they are not recognized until later when speech, language, or communication demands exceed abilities.

Process for a New Diagnosis

New diagnoses were included in DSM-5 only after a comprehensive review of the scientific literature; full discussion by Work Group members; review by the DSM-5 Task Force, Scientific Review Committee, and Clinical and Public Health Committee; and, finally, evaluation by the American Psychiatric Association’s Board of Trustees. Trustees approved the final diagnostic criteria for DSM-5 in December 2012.

Improving Diagnosis and Care

While previous editions of DSM included diagnoses with related symptoms, the SCD diagnosis was needed to ensure that the unique needs of affected individuals are met. For example, while autism spectrum disorder (ASD) does encompass communication problems, it also includes restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests or activities and gives equal weight to both communication issues and repetitive behaviors. ASD must be ruled out for SCD to be diagnosed.

Because the symptoms described in SCD were not defined in previous editions of DSM, many individuals with such symptoms may have been lumped under the not otherwise specified category of pervasive development disorder. This led to inconsistent treatment and services across different clinics and practices. Research shows that communication disorders are amenable to treatment, so identifying distinct communication problems are an important first step in getting people appropriate care.

DSM is the manual used by clinicians and researchers to diagnose and classify mental disorders. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) will publish DSM-5 in 2013, culminating a 14-year revision process.

APA is a national medical specialty society whose more than 36,000 physician members specialize in the diagnosis, treatment, prevention and research of mental illnesses, including substance use disorders. Visit the APA at www.psychiatry.org. For more information, please contact Eve Herold at 703-907-8640 or press@psych.org.

Welcome back!

It is the beginning of a brand new school year and I hope that everyone had a wonderful and fulfilling Summer. With a new year, of course, come new changes. The biggest changes being how our day is structured, and how we will be communicating with each other.

Class Composition

This year I will be teaching Primary and Junior Special Education only. This means that our class makeup will be different. The Primary students (grades 1-3) will be with me for the first three periods of the day. The Junior students will be in my afternoon class. The best part of this plan is that I will have two smaller classes and will be able to provide more intensive support for your child.

Communication

This summer I spent some time acquainting myself with some new programs which will make it easier to keep parents apprised of all the great things we are doing. One such program is called Remind and delivers daily messages and reminders to your smartphone or email. Please provide an email address when you complete the Parent Survey which I am sending home. As we know organization and planning can be a challenge for our students. With this program I can alert you daily to let you know what homework is coming home or remind you of important school events.

Newsletters will also be going digital! To keep up with all that is happening in our classroom simply visit www.bbilton.blogspot.com. Here you will find student photos, extra practice work, and news. We will also have a Twitter account (@Miss_Bilton) where you can follow tweets made by the students. If you do not have access to the internet please let me know and I can send home paper copies of news. Day to day communication will still take place in your child's agenda, as it's use is an important organizational skill to learn.

Recommended School Supplies

This year I have a few school supplies that I recommend to assist your child in being responsible and organized. For primary students I would suggest a zippered tote to carry their homework and agenda. These resemble a large pouch or a tablet sleeve. They are available at Dollarama in the school supply section. I would also suggest a personal calculator for math for all students. For junior students I suggest a binder with coloured tabs. These are extremely helpful in home room when students receive.large amounts of notes and handouts in Science, Social Studies and French.

Let's have a great year!

________________________________________________

Alberta launches online course to help parents be Internet Savvy

as seen in the Calgary Herald Feb.6, 2013
Parents are being offered a new online course to better protect their children and educate themselves around potential online risks. In accordance with International Safer Internet Day, Alberta Human Services Minister Dave Hancock unveiled Internet Savvy on Tuesday, an online course meant to increase awareness about the dangers children are facing in a rapidly changing technological world.
According to ALERT’s Internet Child Exploitation units, more than 440 cases of online child exploitation were investigated in Alberta in 2012.
“The threats to our children are now much different than they used to be,” Hancock said, citing that one in three Canadian youths will accept a Facebook friend request from a stranger.
“They’re not the physical threats. There’s a host of bullies and scammers and predators that are lurking online.”
Internet Savvy is meant to educate parents on the dangers youth face online, ranging from cyberbullying and social networking to online marketing to children and sexual exploitation. The program consists of three educational modules teaching parents how kids use the Internet, how to understand the challenges they face, and practical tips on talking to and warning children about their Internet risks.
The course begins with an assessment test for parents. Hancock said even those adults who consider themselves “Internet savvy” might not realize how little they know about their child’s online life, only answering one of the first five assessment questions correctly.
Participants at the demonstration included people like Bradley Bostock, the executive director at Child Find Alberta, an organization dedicated to preventing child exploitation and abduction. Bostock intends to encourage his employees and parents in the community to take the course through their organization.
“One of the things we always hear from parents is we need support, I don’t really understand this new world and I don’t necessarily know how to be a good parent in what we call cyberspace,” Bostock said. Sarita Dighe-Bramwell, manager of policy and casework supports at human services, said this is a common concern and that in recent years web access has become a great parenting challenge.
“Internet Savvy was developed to meet that need with parents and caregivers who really wanted to know and, more importantly, really understand how their kids were interacting online,” said Dighe-Bramwell.
The program, which cost the province $168,000, includes samples of family online agreements parents can engage their children in and a list of sample house rules for children’s online access.
“We’re trying to create an awareness among parents that we don’t know as much as we think we know about what our kids are doing and that we do need to have those open conversations with our children and we do need to be aware of what our children are doing.”
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
Read more: http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/Alberta+launches+online+course+help+parents+Internet+Savvy/7923271/story.html#ixzz2K7n5v3PE

HELP! My Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With Learning Disabilities. Tell Me What That Means. Where Can I Get Help? What Should I Do?
by Jill Stowell, M.S.

With e-mail becoming such a widespread tool, I am getting the opportunity to hear from parents all over the nation, and even, sometimes, other parts of the world. Many of the feelings and questions seem to be universal, no matter where they come from:

My child has a learning disability. How can I learn more about this?
Where can I go to get help?
Is there hope?

Learning disabilities and attention disorders are perplexing because they may cause very "able" individuals to be unsuccessful or "disabled" in certain situations. There has been a tremendous amount of work done in this field in the last twenty years. This is by no means an exhaustive list of references, but here are a few of my favorites that I think will give any parent or teacher some new insights into learning disabilities, or better stated, learning differences.

Learning Disabilities / Dyslexia / Language Learning Disabilities

Conway, David. Help!!! A Handbook on Solving Learning Problems. Gander Publications (800) 554-1819.
Davis, Ronald. The Gift of Dyslexia. San Juan Capistrano, CA: Ability Workshop Press, 1994.
Hannaford, Carla. Smart Moves. Arlington, VA: Great Ocean Publications
LaVoie, Richard. How Difficult Can This Be? P.B.S. Video. 1994. (800) 344-3337.
LaVoie, Richard. Learning Disabilities and Social Skills. P.B.S. Video. 1994 (800) 344-3337
Smith, Joan M. Learning Victories. Sacramento, CA: Learning Time Products, Inc. 1998.
Directory of Facilities and Services for the Learning Disabled. Novato, CA: Academic Therapy Publications.
Smith, Joan M. You Don't Have To Be Dyslexic. Sacramento, CA: Learning Time Products, Inc. 1993
Tallal, Paula. Fast ForWord. Reference: Scientific Learning Corporation, Berkeley, CA 1998. www.fastforword.com

To find help in your area:

The International Dyslexia Association (410) 296-0232 FAX - (410) 321-5069 www.interdys.org
Learning Disabilities Association (LDA) (412) 341-1515 www.ldanatl.org
CHAADD (Support Group for Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder)

Attention Challengers / ADD and ADHD / Tourette's Syndrome

Dornbush, Marilyn, Ph.D. and Pruitrt, Sheryl K. M.Ed. Teaching The Tiger - a Handbook for Individuals in the Education of Students with Attention Deficit Disorder, Tourette Syndrome or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Duarte, CA: Hope Press
Hughes, Susan. Ryan, A Mother's Story of her Hyperactive/Tourette Syndrome Child. Duarte, CA: Hope Press
Hallowell, M.D., Ed and Ratey, M.D., John. Driven to Distraction. N.Y. Simon and Schuster, 1994
Silver, Larry B. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Press, 1992.
Hartman, Thom. Attention Deficit Disorder...A Different Perspective. Underwood Books, 1997.

Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities

Thompson, Sue. The Source for Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities. East Moline, IL Linguisystems, Inc. 1997.

Learning / Study Skills

Amen, M.D., Daniel. Secrets of Successful Students. Mind Works Press. Fairfield, CA www.danielamen.com
Archer, Anita and Gleason, Mary. Skills For School Success. Curriculum Associates, Inc. (800) 225-0248.
Healy, Jane. Endangered Minds. New York: A Touch Stone Book, Simon and Schuster, 1990.

On the 'Net
There are three newsgroups on these subjects. As with all newsgroups, sometimes there is good information. Other times it can be like "the blind leading the blind."

alt.support.attn-deficit
alt.support.dyslexia
alt.support.learning-disab

To the question, "Is there hope?"... Absolutely!
Individuals with learning disabilities generally have something different or perhaps not completely developed in the way that they process or think about information. The way that they process is not wrong, but it may not be efficient, particularly for academic tasks.

Because they are obviously intelligent and generally do some kinds of tasks very easily, parents and teachers may, at first, see the learning disabled student as lazy or unmotivated. With very few exceptions, learners of any age want to be successful and would if they could.

While we never want to take away a student's thinking style, the key to teach the learning disabled student is to help him or her to develop the underlying thinking processes that will allow him to take-in, remember, and use information efficiently.

Creating a solid foundation of basic skills is a critical piece of the picture, but only when the brain has been prepared to understand and hold onto those skills.

Students are often taught compensating strategies to help them cope with their learning disabilities. These are helpful and important but they are not enough! Students with learning differences need to be taught in a different way, because these students can learn.

Individuals with learning and attention challenges often have wonderful talents or abilities in other areas. These may tend to get overlooked in the confusion and frustration of poor school performance. Many of the outstanding artists, musicians, actors, athletes, and inventors of our time have had differences in thinking that caused "learning disabilities." Yet, it was precisely those differences that were the key to their success.

As we seek to help students work through and remediate their inefficiencies in learning, it is also important to notice and encourage their areas of strength and uniqueness.

Keeping Your Child From Becoming a Bully

By Michelle Luce, as found on http://www.educationnews.org/parenting/keeping-your-child-from-becoming-a-bully/

Bully. We hear the word and our defenses go up. No parent wants their child to be the victim of a bully. But what happens if it’s your child who is being the bully? Jill Pertler addresses that very issue in an article for education.com called, “Not My Kid: What to Do if Your Child is a Bully.”

There is no formula for identifying bullies. No one personality type. No one ethnicity. No socioeconomic distinction. Every school, no matter how big or small, whether rural or urban, has bullies.

There are many reasons why children bully. For some, it’s power and control. For others, it’s a reaction to being bullied elsewhere. Some are searching for status among their peers and others are insecure.

Parents need not feel powerless if they should learn that their child is a bully. Jill Pertler quotes Alana Friedman, a national bullying prevention trainer with Olweus (www.olweus.org), “There are a number of things parents can do if they suspect their child is bullying.”

It’s important to acknowledge the problem. Let your child know that bullying is unacceptable behavior. Stand against it. Don’t tolerate it.

You have to talk to your child. And listen. You have to take a proactive role in your child’s social life by knowing who his friends are, where they go and what they do. Then, talk to your child. And listen. Communication has to be a two way street. Don’t be a side-line parent. Get involved.

Analyze what your kids see at home. Are you (or they) playing violent video games? Watching violent movies? TV? How do you react when you’re angry? Is there violence in the home? Be candid with yourself. There’s a poem by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. called “Children Learn What They Live.” What are they learning from you?

Encourage positive behaviors. It’s like planting seeds. Don’t expect a hearty crop of good behavior overnight. Instill the value of empathy, kindness, generosity and cooperation. Reward positive behavior all the while talking and listening to your child. Nurture the kind of behavior you expect.

If you feel that you can’t do it alone, get help. There are professionals whose job it is to help bullies stop this destructive behavior. “A 1993 Olweus study found that boys who were identified as bullies in middle school were four times as likely to have a criminal conviction by age 24.”

No child is born a bully. This learned behavior can be undone, but don’t wait. If you see that your child is a bully, start today to bring about change.

Helping a struggling learner at home: What parents can do.

As an educator, I am often asked what parents can do to help their struggling learner at home. Often the finances are not there to able them to hire a tutor, and the child has not yet been placed in special education services, or has received extra support but has not seemed to benefit much from it. I would always recommend that the child and parent work together on basic skills until they are mastered. Basic computation drills and practice in phonics type activities always brings a better result. Provide your child with ample resources for reading and being read to. The time taken to go over a much anticipated story or book will motivate them to try. Books that are slightly beyond their reading level can be used if they are provided with assistance in reading. Remember to always reward and celebrate their achievements.

Here is an excellent downloadable resource with more information and suggestions:

http://www.greenville.k12.sc.us/greerms/parents/struggling.pdf

The unambitious kid

How to foster your child’s inner drive to succeed

Randi Chapnik Myers

While one of my sons is always outside honing his goalie skills, the other would take a Spiderman comic over a goal any day. In fact, motivating him to do his best — whether it’s practising guitar or getting a jump-start on his history assignment — takes a lot of nagging. Of course, I would prefer to spend my time fostering my child’s own inner drive to succeed. But how?
Watch for sparks
“Kids aren’t born ambitious,” says Annabelle Fell, a registered social worker in Toronto. As most grow, they start setting goals for themselves. But first, kids have to figure out what they enjoy doing most. To help your child develop interests, expose her to lots of options. Hand her a list of 10 activities per year, and let her choose three, Fell suggests. Then stand back and watch which ones light her up. “When you see her getting excited about sketching or cartwheels, that’s when you step in with encouragement,” she says.
Foster feeling good
You cultivate ambition by connecting the activity with the happy feeling your child receives from it. When your son shows off his piano scales, or finally beats you at chess, tell him, “Wow, you really worked for that!” and ask how it feels to have mastered it, Fell says. “You want your child to hear his inner voice that says: This is something I’m good at and that feels great!”
She points out that our culture is so focused on extrinsic motivators — rewards for A’s, gifts for making the team — that it’s hard for kids to find intrinsic motivation, succeeding simply because it feels good.
On the flip side, it’s important to flag areas where your child is struggling because you don’t want her clapping the French book shut the second studying doesn’t feel good. “Knowing her challenges will help your child learn when she has to push harder for that feeling of accomplishment,” Fell says. The harder she works to reach a level of proficiency, the bigger the pride payoff when she does.
To help your child tackle challenges, cheer her on, but also empathize with her feelings of frustration during the learning process. And don’t forget to praise her for trying — whether or not she succeeds, Fell says. “Failure is an important life lesson that teaches kids the value of resilience.”
Stay balanced
Your own experience of success is also instructive. Explain to your kids how reaching a goal (passing a driving test, landing a job) made you feel, Fell says. But keep in mind that not everyone has the same level of ambition, and that doesn’t mean those with less are lazy. Some kids are late bloomers or need more nudging because they are less competitive by temperament.
Plus, too much ambition can be harmful, Fell says. “If your child spends all day achieving, with no time to just be, he’s in danger of feeling a void inside.” It could also be a sign of stress, so make sure your kids enjoy a healthy balance of work and play.
And keep your own success monitor in check. “Instead of judging your child, boost his confidence by asking what he’d like to do more of,” Fell says. “Drawing out his interests tells your child: ‘Hey, you may look like me, but you are your own amazing person with your own talents and that’s cool.’”

Fighting childhood obesity: Is phys-ed enough?

Some Canadians may be haunted by memories of being whipped by dodge balls in elementary school, not being fit enough to play midfield in soccer or watching as all your classmates were picked ahead of you for whatever game was the focus of this week's gym class. Unpleasant memories of phys-ed can turn Canadians of all ages off exercise and sport.
The combination of a car-friendly culture and popular sedentary activities like watching TV or playing video games make it unsurprising that at least 25 per cent of Canadians between the ages of two and 17 are overweight, according to Statistics Canada.
A few years ago, the Canadian Medical Association Journal reported that the average Canadian kid spends three to five hours a day sitting in front of a TV or computer screen. The study also showed that in the past 15 years, the incidence of obesity has grown by more than 50 per cent in children age 6 to 11 and by 40 per cent in those between the ages of 12 and 17.
Adding to the problem is that only nine per cent of parents acknowledge weight problems in their children, the Canadian Medical Association reported in August 2006.
Canada's Physical Activity Guide advises children to aim for 90 minutes a day of physical activity.
In 2002, researchers in Nova Scotia concluded two-thirds of children and youth in Canada aren't physically active enough to gain health benefits that would offer protection from heart disease and Type 2 diabetes.
The researchers fitted children with pedometers that recorded all of their physical activity - club and recreational sports, walking etc., rather than relying on children to report how much they moved.
Over the past two decades, rates of overweight and obesity nearly tripled among Canadian children, according to the Canadian Institutes of Health Information's report, titled "Improving the Health of Canadians 2004."
Likewise, the report's authors noted four out of five Canadian youth are not active enough to meet international guidelines for optimal growth and development.
The Active Healthy Kids Canada 2009 Report Card found that only 13 per cent of the country's children and youth were getting 90 minutes of physical activity a day. The organization says besides the health benefits of physical activity, its research shows that active kids do better in school than sedentary kids.

Students at Piedmont Elementary eat lunch at school Tuesday, May 1, 2007, in Charleston, W.Va. Many school administrators are sneaking nutrition into school lunches, in an effort to combat the nation's growing childhood obesity problem. Administrators are cutting fat and calories by supplementing hamburgers with soy and subbing applesauce for shortening in cake. (Jeff Gentner/Associated Press)

The federal government has touted its children's fitness tax credit as one way to encourage parents to help their kids get active. Parents can claim a maximum of $500 a year for eligible fitness expenses. Eligible activities must "include a significant amount of physical activity that contributes to cardio-respiratory endurance, plus one or more of: muscular strength, muscular endurance, flexibility or balance."
Joe MacDonald, a professor at the school of education at St. Francis Xavier University in Antigonish, N.S., would prefer to see funding for school sports teams connected to the school curriculum. If young children are taught to understand how their bodies move, they'll be more likely to join the teams, he told CBCNews.ca. Instead of being intimidated, they'll learn to enjoy sports and physical activities.
Endocrinologist Dr. Laurent Legault of Montreal Children's Hospital agrees self-consciousness and low self-esteem can be barriers to phys-ed instruction. "We want to move past the team sports concept and move to activities that someone can take with them when they're 80," Legault said. Teaching outdoor activities like cross-country skiing, for example, can be a hit with students.

Learning the physical basics

Before they can get to that stage, though, children need some tools. MacDonald called today's children "physically illiterate" — just as they need to learn the mechanics of grammar to read and write, they also need to learn the "language of movement."
Students in primary grades need a foundation of quality phys-ed classes taught by phys-ed specialists, just as teachers specialize in teaching math or science, he said.
Lesson plans should teach gross and fine motor skills, spatial awareness and timing. It may seem like children can run instinctively, but according to MacDonald, they need to learn the pacing of running.
Teaching children how to do three simple activities — run, jump and throw — is the key to their being able to enjoy other physical activities, from dance to golf to hockey.
Under this strategy, by the time children are about 11, they'll have the proper psychomotor development and skills needed to play sports, he said.
Instead, adults impose their rules on children, forcing them to play sports by adult rules. Under that formula, only the elite kids who can handle it are able to succeed at sports, the professor said.
He cites Canada's Kyle Shewfelt, Olympic gold medallist in gymnastics, as an example of the one-third of Canadians who were physically active as a child.
At age six, before starting school, Shewfelt was asked by a coach where he learned to do a handspring. "In the backyard," Shewfelt answered. Parents, teachers and coaches nurtured the naturally gifted athlete to success at the Olympic floor event.
The CIHI report notes physical activity among children and youth is often linked to school settings.
Daily phys-ed is required until graduation in Quebec. Alberta requires 30 minutes of physical activity in all schools from grades one through nine.
In Ontario in 2006, researchers recommended the province consider changing its high school phys-ed program to help adolescents get their recommended 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity.

Phys-ed alone not enough in obesity battle

However, mandatory phys-ed classes until high school graduation might not be the ticket to reversing the childhood obesity trend.
A study published in the March 31, 2009, edition of the Canadian Medical Association Journal found that while phys-ed does offer numerous health benefits, improving body mass index (BMI) in children was not one of them.
"Although the physical activity interventions in the studies we analyzed were not successful in improving BMI, the underlying reasons for failure were unclear," wrote Dr. Kevin Harris of B.C. Children's Hospital, one of the authors of the study.
But the researchers said there were other significant health benefits, including reduced blood pressure; increased lean muscle mass, bone mineral density and aerobic capacity; and improved flexibility.
In a related commentary in the same issue of the journal, Dr. Louise Baur from the University of Sydney, Australia, argued for long-term, multi-level approaches to combat childhood obesity. They would include:

Improved urban planning.
Provision of healthy meals in schools.
Subsidies on fruits and vegetables for schools and daycares.

"Recent evidence suggesting that the obesity prevalence rates in France plateaued following a range of multi-level interventions provides a glimmer of hope for other countries," she states.
Those interventions in France included a study that enlisted most of the population of the towns of Fleurbaix and Laventie. Beginning in 1992, children received significantly more nutritional education, with a focus on traditional French fare. As well, children were encouraged to get involved in sports.
The researchers found that as children's knowledge of nutrition increased, the eating habits of the entire family changed, putting a dent in rising rates of obesity.
The CMAJ editorial cited several approaches to tackling childhood obesity, including:

Increasing physical activity through unstructured activity and access to play equipment.
Parents acting as role models of an active lifestyle for their children.
Limiting television and computer time to less than two hours per day to reduce a child's sedentary time.
Changing a whole family's lifestyle.

What teachers really want to tell parents
By Ron Clark, Special to CNN

Tue September 6, 2011

(CNN) -- This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us."

Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges.

So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?

For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.

Please quit with all the excuses
The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone.
Ron Clark

And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks.

His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete.

Can you feel my pain?

Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.

Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"

Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office.

Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.

And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children.

Teachers walking on eggshells

I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster.

My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?"

I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.

Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner.

If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems.

We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.

That's a teacher's promise, from me to you.

Back-to-School Transitions: Tips for Parents

By Ted Feinberg, EdD, NCSP, & Katherine C. Cowan
National Association of School Psychologists

Getting a new school year off to a good start can influence children’s attitude, confidence, and performance both socially and academically. The transition from August to September can be difficult for both children and parents. Even children who are eager to return to class must adjust to the greater levels of activity, structure, and, for some, pressures associated with school life.

The degree of adjustment depends on the child, but parents can help their children (and the rest of the family) manage the increased pace of life by planning ahead, being realistic, and maintaining a positive attitude. Here are a few suggestions to help ease the transition and promote a successful school experience.
Before School Starts

Good physical and mental health. Be sure your child is in good physical and mental health. Schedule doctor and dental checkups early. Discuss any concerns you have over your child’s emotional or psychological development with your pediatrician. Your doctor can help determine if your concerns are normal, age-appropriate issues or require further assessment. Your child will benefit if you can identify and begin addressing a potential issue before school starts. Schools appreciate the efforts of parents to remedy problems as soon as they are recognized.

Review all of the information. Review the material sent by the school as soon as it arrives. These packets include important information about your child’s teacher, room number, school supply requirements, sign ups for after-school sports and activities, school calendar dates, bus transportation, health and emergency forms, and volunteer opportunities.

Mark your calendar. Make a note of important dates, especially back-to-school nights. This is especially important if you have children in more than one school and need to juggle obligations. Arrange for a babysitter now, if necessary.

Make copies. Make copies of all your child’s health and emergency information for reference. Health forms are typically good for more than a year and can be used again for camps, extracurricular activities, and the following school year.

Buy school supplies early. Try to get the supplies as early as possible and fill the backpacks a week or two before school starts. Older children can help do this, but make sure they use a checklist that you can review. Some teachers require specific supplies, so save receipts for items that you may need to return later.

Re-establish the bedtime and mealtime routines. Plan to re-establish the bedtime and mealtime routines (especially breakfast) at least 1 week before school starts. Prepare your child for this change by talking with your child about the benefits of school routines in terms of not becoming over tired or overwhelmed by school work and activities. Include pre-bedtime reading and household chores if these were suspended during the summer.

Turn off the TV. Encourage your child to play quiet games, do puzzles, flash cards, color, or read as early morning activities instead of watching television. This will help ease your child into the learning process and school routine. If possible, maintain this practice throughout the school year. Television is distracting for many children, and your child will arrive at school better prepared to learn each morning if he or she has engaged in less passive activities.

Visit school with your child. If your child is young or in a new school, visit the school with your child. Meeting the teacher, locating their classroom, locker, lunchroom, etc., will help ease pre-school anxieties and also allow your child to ask questions about the new environment. Call ahead to make sure the teachers will be available to introduce themselves to your child.

Minimize clothes shopping woes. Buy only the essentials. Summer clothes are usually fine during the early fall, but be sure to have at least one pair of sturdy shoes. Check with your school to confirm dress code guidelines. Common concerns include extremely short skirts and shorts, low rise pants, bare midriffs, spaghetti strap or halter tops, exposed undergarments, and clothing that have antisocial messages.

Designate and clear a place to do homework. Older children should have the option of studying in their room or a quiet area of the house. Younger children usually need an area set aside in the family room or kitchen to facilitate adult monitoring, supervision, and encouragement.

Select a spot to keep backpacks and lunch boxes. Designate a spot for your children to place their school belongings as well as a place to put important notices and information sent home for you to see. Explain that emptying their backpack each evening is part of their responsibility, even for young children.

Freeze a few easy dinners. It will be much easier on you if you have dinner prepared so that meal preparation will not add to household tensions during the first week of school.
The First Week

Clear your own schedule. To the extent possible, postpone business trips, volunteer meetings, and extra projects. You want to be free to help your child acclimate to the school routine and overcome the confusion or anxiety that many children experience at the start of a new school year.

Make lunches the night before school. Older children should help or make their own. Give them the option to buy lunch in school if they prefer and finances permit.

Set alarm clocks. Have school-age children set their own alarm clocks to get up in the morning. Praise them for prompt response to morning schedules and bus pickups.

Leave plenty of extra time. Make sure your child has plenty of time to get up, eat breakfast, and get to school. For very young children taking the bus, pin to their shirt or backpack an index card with pertinent information, including their teacher’s name and bus number, as well as your daytime contact information.

After school. Review with your child what to do if he or she gets home after school and you are not there. Be very specific, particularly with young children. Put a note card in their backpack with the name(s) and number(s) of a neighbor who is home during the day as well as a number where you can be reached. If you have not already done so, have your child meet neighbor contacts to reaffirm the backup support personally.

Review your child’s schoolbooks. Talk about what your child will be learning during the year. Share your enthusiasm for the subjects and your confidence in your child’s ability to master the content. Reinforce the natural progression of the learning process that occurs over the school year. Learning skills take time and repetition. Encourage your child to be patient, attentive, and positive.

Send a brief note to your child’s teacher. Let the teachers know that you are interested in getting regular feedback on how and what your child is doing in school. Be sure to attend back-to-school night and introduce yourself to the teachers. Find out how they like to communicate with parents (e.g., through notes, e-mail, or phone calls). Convey a sincere desire to be a partner with your children’s teachers to enhance their learning experience.

Familiarize yourself with the other school professionals. Make an effort to find out who it is in the school or district who can be a resource for you and your child. Learn their roles and how best to access their help if you need them. This can include the principal and front office personnel; school psychologist, counselor, and social worker; the reading specialist, speech therapist, and school nurse; and the after-school activities coordinator.
Overcoming Anxiety

Let your children know you care. If your child is anxious about school, send personal notes in the lunch box or book bag. Reinforce the ability to cope. Children absorb their parent’s anxiety, so model optimism and confidence for your child. Let your child know that it is natural to be a little nervous anytime you start something new but that your child will be just fine once he or she becomes familiar with classmates, the teacher, and school routine.

Do not overreact. If the first few days are a little rough, try not to over react. Young children in particular may experience separation anxiety or shyness initially but teachers are trained to help them adjust. If you drop them off, try not to linger. Reassure them that you love them, will think of them during the day, and will be back.

Remain calm and positive. Acknowledge anxiety over a bad experience the previous year. Children who had a difficult time academically or socially or were teased or bullied may be more fearful or reluctant to return to school. If you have not yet done so, share your child’s concern with the school and confirm that the problem has been addressed. Reassure your child that the problem will not occur again in the new school year, and that you and the school are working together to prevent further issues.

Reinforce your child’s ability to cope. Give your child a few strategies to manage a difficult situation on his or her own. But encourage your child to tell you or the teacher if the problem persists. Maintain open lines of communication with the school.

Arrange play dates. Try to arrange get-togethers with some of your child’s classmates before school starts and during the first weeks of schools to help your child re-establish positive social relationships with peers.

Plan to volunteer in the classroom. If possible, plan to volunteer in the classroom at least periodically throughout the year. Doing so helps your child understand that school and family life are linked and that you care about the learning experience. Being in the classroom is also a good way to develop a relationship with your child’s teachers and classmates, and to get firsthand exposure to the classroom environment and routine. Most teachers welcome occasional parent help, even if you cannot volunteer regularly.
Extracurricular Activities

Go for quality, not quantity. Your child will benefit most from one or two activities that are fun, reinforce social development, and teach new skills. Too much scheduled time can be stressful, especially for young children, and may make it harder to concentrate on schoolwork. When evaluating extracurricular activities, consider your family schedule and personal energy level. Multiple activities per child may be too much to manage, particularly if the activities have overlapping times, disparate locations, require your attendance, or disrupt the dinner hour.

Select activities where you have someone with whom you can carpool. Even if you are available to drive most days, you will need backup sometimes. Choosing activities that occur on-site after school will also minimize driving.

Find out from the school or teacher which days will be heavy homework or test study days and schedule extracurricular activities accordingly.

If your child does not want to participate in regular, organized extracurricular activities, you may want to consider other options to help build interests and social skills. For example, check out the local library for monthly reading programs, find out if your local recreation or community center offers drop-in activities, or talk to other parents and schedule regular play dates with their children.
When Problems Arise

These recommendations can contribute to a positive and productive school experience for most children. Some children may exhibit more extreme opposition to or fear of school or may be coping with more specific learning or psychological difficulties.

If your child demonstrates problems that seem extreme in nature or go on for an extended period, you may want to contact the school to set up an appointment to meet with your child’s teachers and school psychologist. They may be able to offer direct or indirect support that will help identify and reduce the presenting problem. They may also suggest other resources within the school and the community to help you address the situation.

While children can display a variety of behaviors, it is generally wise not to over-interpret those behaviors. More often than not, time and a few intervention strategies will remedy the problem. Most children are wonderfully resilient and, with your support and encouragement, will thrive throughout their school experience.

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